


This Will End In Flames

by DepressedOnion



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Baz is an idiot, Blood, Heavy Angst, I promise the next fic won't be so sad, I'm Sorry, M/M, Penny's here for like one line, Suicide, Tears, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Vampires, but so is Simon, im sorry, it's really bad, so many tears, so much angst you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 13:10:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18965896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedOnion/pseuds/DepressedOnion
Summary: He never meant for this to happen. He didn't think all of the insults actually got to him- that they hurt more than he let on. He never thought he'd do this. And now Baz has to deal with this because it's his fault and he can't stand to live without the man he killed.Or,Simon kills himself and Baz gets angsty





	This Will End In Flames

Simon's grasp on my hand steadily loosens as his magic continues to flow into me. It's more than I've ever felt at one time, all of the magic he keeps buried down in fear of hurting people. 

I feel like I'm gonna burst. 

I feel like my body is being set ablaze from the inside, and it's so hot.

I'm speechless as Simon's hand finally falls limp in mine. What? What does that mean? 

My head is foggy from all the magic. It feels like it's still flowing into me, but it also feels like it's trying to settle but can't get comfortable. 

My eyes move to his, and I find them open. 

Slack, relaxed. Too relaxed. Like they aren't being kept open... 

"Simon?" I whisper, so low I barely hear it. 

No reply. Not even a twitch. His eyes look glassy. 

"Simon." I say, louder. No response. I feel my breath quicken. 

_"Simon?"_ Terror. Hot, blazing terror that rips my body apart and forcefully shoves it back together. 

"Simon!" I shake his shoulders. His eyes roll a bit, and I feel sick to my stomach. I cup a hand over my mouth and sob. Really sob, whole body wrecking noises that kill me. 

I find myself pushing away from him, desperately trying to erase the image of his eyes rolling on their sockets like ping-pong balls. 

I retch next to my dresser, tears streaming down my face in rushed waves that don't stop. I throw up until all that's left is bile, and then I'm still heaving. 

It doesn't help that I'm still sobbing, my breathing jagged and harsh. And Simon's still there, lifeless and still on that bed stained with his blood. At some point I begin to scream. 

At first it's just broken, primal cries of grief, and then I start screaming "Anathema" over and over again, hoping the tower will teleport me out of that room and into the wavering woods where I can set myself and this cursed place on fire. 

_I can't do it, Baz. I can't be what everyone wants me to be._

A fresh round of sobs start when I think of the years I spent pushing him away, how I never told him how I felt, even if I would get rejected. 

He should have known, wether he cared or not. 

After what seems like ages, Bunce bursts through the door, sweatsoaked and panting. I don't pay her any attention though, just continue screaming and heaving and feeling so damned hot. 

"SIMON!" Now Penelope's screaming, and I hear her run out of the door screaming for help. Soon after, there's a group of police officers at our door, but I don't let them get in. 

I finally tear myself from the ground and feel my fangs push into my mouth, filling it bursting with sharp white knives. It's from the blood, I know it, but I'm so disgusted with myself that I try to rip them out. It doesn't work. 

I'm sobbing even harder now that they're taking Simon away, I want to scream, to fight. I don't want them to take him from me, not after I've already lost him once. 

But I stay glued to the floor even after all the people have left. They try to get me out, but I'm curled up on the ground with my nails digging into the floor boards, so that attempt is fairly ineffectual. 

At some point I start to the the blaze in me go, tossing fire into lamps, beds, tables. Anything I can find that can be set on fire, and even things that can't gets hit with magic, Simon's magic. 

I was never supposed to have it. 

My final sight is Simon's bed, engulfed in fire.

_This will end in flames._

**Author's Note:**

> Uuhh yeah  
> My first fic on Ao3 and it's angst  
> What a great start  
> Enjoy I guess??


End file.
